What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is the practice of following the breath from moment to moment in order to be more present. Presence allows us to be more in line with reality, rather than our thoughts.
Mindfulness refers to a wide range of practices that anchor us to the present, for example: paying attention to body sensations such as a cool breeze on the skin or how our feet feel on the ground, experiencing subtle body sensations such as tension in the neck or heaviness in the chest, or noticing the sky while we are outside.
Hallmarks of mindfulness include observing, but not getting attached to our thoughts, and attending to our experience with curiosity, without judgment.
By paying attention to the breath and the body, we spend less time in our “heads” and become more immersed in the present. This allows us to not get caught in the mind, so that we can experience the true joy of being in the moment.
Meditation provides us refuge as we leave the painfulness of being in our thoughts which distance us from others. We come into the clarity of the present to realize our true nature which is of interconnection between ourselves and all beings. So, mindfulness brings incredible value in bringing calm and grounding, and yet the practice goes beyond that -- leading us to a deep place of undoing aloneness, feeling less separate.
Why should I practice mindfulness? Mindfulness and you.
Sensitive people feel things intensely and process deeply, often reflecting in the thinking mind. This can be wonderful at times, but other times due to sensory and emotion overload or getting “triggered”, sensitive minds run at a fast pace, and can even get lost in a dark spiral of thoughts.
Mindfulness allows you to be present to sensory information, emotion, and anxiety by bringing attention to the very physical impact these stimuli have on your body. Focusing on concrete sensory material, draws you back from the depths of the ocean (deep in your intellect) to the surface of the shore.
Indeed, for people who take a lot in and can “overthink” -- what they need the most is to be able to stay present without exploring the depths, as a sort of anchor away from the negative places their mind can go.
Yet mindfulness is not a “surface” practice. The paradox is that the more we practice staying with the simple truth of this moment, the greater capacity we have to grasp the nature of the interdependence of all beings and life. While getting out of the muck of our minds -- we are able to appreciate the surface -- sensory information like facets of a gem -- and the depth of our natures as living beings simultaneously. The simplest yet deepest truths at once.
What can mindfulness help me with?
Meditation work can be powerfully healing. It has the capacity to help you, not so much transform, but come to know who you have been all along and to tap into your inherent value, strength, vulnerability, and passion.
Specifically, mindfulness may help you to:
Feel satisfied and “at home” with yourself
Regulate your emotions, and soothe yourself
Accept and appreciate yourself and others
Feel more connected to your partner, friends, and family
Feel in tune with your body, and take better care of yourself
I meditate on my own, why bring Mindfulness into Therapy?
Sometimes when we try to practice mindfulness by ourselves it can be difficult to set aside the time and space for it. Or if we do set aside the space, it can be difficult to reach the sacred moments of clarity and peace amidst the busy-ness inside ourselves.
Here in therapy we practice dyadic mindfulness, or mindfulness in pairs. Doing mindfulness in the context of a therapeutic relationship has a number of powerful effects. One is that it facilitates working on relationships and reducing your sense of aloneness.
Additionally, with the therapist holding the space, the sacred effect of meditation is amplified. It is somehow “easier” to get focused and reach a space of quiet and clarity where you are sitting with your true self, often called pure consciousness, or the witness. This part of you is central to healing as it can hold all of your experiences, emotions, and states of mind.
Mindfulness in Therapy: What to Expect
Sometimes mindfulness in therapy includes concrete exercises that focus on developing skills. Other times it is a particular way of holding the emotions and the self. An mindfulness stance in therapy integrates kindness, non-judgment, and curiosity into whatever comes up. It also embraces a not-knowing. A mindfulness stance encourages you to let go of concepts or attachments to things you think you know, in favor of staying with a feeling or a sensation. It is through following your experience, not the concepts, that allows you to go deeper into feelings and a full understanding of who you are.
Here are some examples of what mindfulness might look like in a session:
Grounding: Feet on the floor, body scans, attention to the outlines of your body as you sit on the couch.
Resourcing: Guided meditations focused on balance, safety, sense of purpose, comfort, warmth, and loving attention. Examples include bringing a hand to the heart or belly to offer support, or cultivating protective visualizations.
Staying with a wave of emotion: noting how it feels physically and emotionally.
Practice training the mind: Bringing attention to the breath, observing and discussing challenges to your meditation.
Using alternatives to breath practice: Sometimes (especially with trauma and anxiety) an internal focus such as the breath can be triggering or feel not secure. We use sensory stimuli to anchor your attention: such as the sounds of the room, the rain, the birds, the feel of the fabric of your shirt sleeve, or the couch pillow.
Following the ebbs and flows of sensations in the body, emotions, thoughts with curiosity. We look at emotions that arise both in response to the relationship in the room, and material you bring in from relationships outside the room.
Why do you (Melanie) practice mindfulness and use it with clients?
The calm and stillness I have cultivated through yoga and meditation practices are qualities that I deeply love sharing with others to help them learn to achieve it for themselves. I love to bear witness as clients see themselves with clarity for who they truly are -- melting with compassion a hardness to themselves, sometimes with tears, and opening their hearts to their darkness and light. Meditation practice, especially in relationship, as part of the sacred container of therapy, is one of the most powerful ways of healing I know how to share.